May this blog be a blessing to you as you seek to understand the why's behind addiction and where to go from here.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

At the Heart of My Issues

I have continued to pray that God would show me the root causes of my habitual, addictive behavior. I think that He has shown me recently. And the bottom line is that I don't love God, I don't trust Him, and I don't believe that He loves me individually.

It takes a lot of faith to just believe that His word is actually His word.  His ways have to be better than ours, otherwise we align ourselves with Satan by saying, "did God really say that?" If God didn't, then He isn't God, and we have nothing to trust. I recognize that there are manuscriptural discrepancies, but that is a mole hill made into a mountain if I've ever heard one. It's amazing how alike those disparate manuscripts are, compared to other ancient writings.

It takes a lot of faith to believe that God is in the mundane, and that He will bless us in the every day situations that we live. It also takes faith when those things we hold dearest are going to be torn from us, and the world starts to crash in. We wonder if God cares, and when life just plain sucks, we start distrusting that God has our best interests at heart.

Something that I am discovering is that God puts us on the paths that we're on for a reason, and it always fits into His larger plan, for those of us that are His children. We have to learn to trust that whatever happens, it is for the best for us, and He knows what we need more than we do.

Of course, that trust comes with great difficulty when you and God are distant from each other. You have to dwell with Him, continue asking for His guidance and loving presence to keep you sane. Our lives are filled with pain, and God helps us to cope with the difficult runs in life, and persevere in our faith and love toward Him.

So, to prescribe a course of action...

  1. Realize that God loves you. This is foundational to all love. If you can't realize His love for you specifically, then nothing else related to love will work out.
  2. You should trust God, in lieu of His benevolence.
  3. Realizing His love for you and your trust in Him, you need to let that evidence itself in your actions... chief among them is a love for Him, an all-consuming love (all your heart, mind, soul, strength) that causes you to live with abandon in His ways. In other words, you want to simply obey.
  4. Living in God's ways will allow you to realize love for others. Love for others flows from love from God. It is all interconnected.
It is so lonely without realizing God's love. Life is empty, and nothing seems possible or hopeful. With God's love, all things are possible through Him who strengthens us.

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